Desperately Seeking You

What if you could see the one you once loved the most in a way that you had never seen them before? What if you could see them as a wounded child in need of succor, nurture, protection, safety, unconditional love, affection? What if you could see them as the Savior sees them: worthy of it? And what if you were the only one, along with the Savior who, being able to see them in this way, could fix their wounds, make them whole, take away their pain, give them a whole new way of life? Would you do it?

Would you gather them up in your arms, hold them close, rock them back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...... And tell them how much you love them, how valuable they are to you, how much they are wanted, that you'll protect them, that you'll always be there for them.

Or what if they had hurt you so badly, there was no way for repairs to be made to you, to them, to the relationship; its over? What if this person you once loved the most, was dangerous or lived their life in such a way that you had no choice but to walk away from them? What if you were ashamed of them, of your association with them, of ever having known them? What if all that remains is an enormous empty space of regret and heartache and you don't know how to begin to forgive them? What if there really is nothing you can do for them, because they simply are not willing to allow anyone to help them at all, not even themselves? And you have to remain gone from them, no matter how deeply you love them?

Now, what if this person is YOU?

What if YOU were the one who was wounded and in need? Could YOU envision YOUrself as the wounded child YOU have indeed been at one time or another; a child in need of succor, nurture, protection, safety, unconditional love, affection? Would YOU wrap YOUR arms around YOU, and love YOU? Would YOU gather YOU up in YOUR arms, hold YOU close, rock YOU back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.... And tell YOU how much YOU love YOU, how valuable YOU are to YOU, how much YOU are wanted, that YOU will protect YOU, that You will always be there for YOU?

Now, what if YOU had been hurt so badly, there was no way for repairs to be made to YOU? What if YOU are dangerous or live YOUR life in such a way, that YOU had no choice but to walk away from YOU? What if YOU are ashamed of YOU, wish YOU'd never been born, wish YOU didn't live, wish YOU could die? What if all that remains is an enormous empty space of regret and heartache and YOU don't know how to begin to give to and forgive YOU? What if, there really is nothing that can be done for YOU, unless YOU are willing to allow help? And what if YOU have to remain gone from YOU, unless you get help?

What if I told YOU: there is a way?

YOU can, if YOU will try and then YOU will change into something you never expected and everything WILL be okay.

How badly do you want to stop hurting? How badly do you want to feel whole? How badly do you want that love you've always longed for?

In a quiet place, at a quiet time, sit without fear, allow the Savior to guide you. Sit in your feelings of all your years. Sit in your thoughts of you, thoughts of you as a baby, as a toddler, as a kindergartner, as an eight year old, a twelve year old, a sixteen year old.....

Go through each age, each phase and just simply hold YOU. Find you and love you. Safely, appropriately, carefully, gently. Be with you and give to that age of your younger you all the things that child within you needs for that time. Swaddling and forehead kisses as an infant. A fluffy blankie and a lullaby as a toddler. An non-judgmental ear and broad shoulders as a teen. A strong arm and a knowing nod of the head as the young adult who failed.

You wouldn't deny these to the one you loved more than anything else in their hour of need. When you've been a best friend, a coach, a teacher, a parent, a sweetheart, a spouse. Are YOU any less deserving? No.

The love you allow you to give to YOU will extend far beyond the moment when you give it to you, in that quiet place, at a quiet time. It will extend as rippling water after a stone has been dropped into a pond from one shore to the other. Like waters of life; healing, cleansing, replenishing, nourishing. By giving yourself permission to be loved and lovable, you will give it to all you will ever know. You will let the Atonement of Christ heal not only your wounds, but others will follow your lead to healing, to Him. And you will have then become all you were meant to be. YOU!!

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Once again I must thank Marlene Elisabeth Holden for an amazing journey through rescripting. I reiterate that it is by far the most powerful form of "healing" I have ever been engaged in. I think of the wasted years and tears sitting in a therapist's office, or several, in futility, struggling in vain to find the missing pieces and put me back together. It got to the point where this last psychologist just simply said "why don't you finish school, become a therapist & then you can fix yourself." Yeah, I've read a great deal, learned even more and yet after 20 odd years, found myself in the same places all over again, time after time.

During my session yesterday with Marlene, I was actually pain free for hours. Though some of my physical pain has returned, I still feel very free, very whole, very found. That is priceless and something I cannot even begin to describe. What I wrote above I hope to publish into a children's book for grown-ups. It was Marlene's idea. It may need tweaking here and there, and of course illustrations...but I don't know of an illustrated children's book for grown-ups, for the child inside. Neither did Marlene. So, here's to perhaps, a novel idea.  And you read it here, in purple and green, on my blog, first (;

(Yes, that does copyright it!)

To contact Marlene, which I highly suggest to everyone:

801.633.8140

marleneholden@yahoo.com

marleneshealingarts.com

Marlene's Healing Arts on Facebook